


4 AM

by saudahde



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending?, Relationships are Difficult, Sana gets beaten up but don’t worry, They’re exes, they still love each other tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-02 08:24:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18807400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saudahde/pseuds/saudahde
Summary: Love can’t fix everything(but today they were meant to be)





	4 AM

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve no idea what this is but I hope you like it <3

The mighty storm ripped out the loneliness of the night. Sana guessed the temperature was too low for the average in winter, she didn’t know anyways. Her skin felt impervious to the harsh cold, only a jacket was hugging her body over the tank top she was wearing. The streets were empty, which was logical since being outside in winter at 4 am on a Saturday wasn’t very common.

Tell that to the drunk girl who was wondering the streets of Osaka in that moment, following a direction that she knew by heart, hell, she remembered it even with all the alcohol flooding her veins. She didn’t even know what she felt, she only knew that for some reason she had to reach her destination, maybe her consciousness wanted to fuck things up even more. The rain kept tearing her apart as if the world was telling her to stop pushing it, that it wasn’t worthy, that she should come back when she’s better.

However, she didn’t stop.

The phone rang on her pocket, screaming at her to stop and pick up the call, that it probably was important, that could put some sense on her cloudy mind and make her go home. The rational part of her woke up for a moment and her hand was already traveling to her pocket and grabbing her phone. She looked at the small object on her hands, confused on what to do with it. You could read the name  Momo  on the screen and a picture of her and Sana accompanying it. She stared, still confused and clicked on the green thing on the screen.

“Where are you?” Momo’s small voice sounded agitated, almost relieved that her friend answered her call.

“I am- I’m going” Sana mumbled, she wasn’t sure if Momo had listened to her, after all, the phone still was on her hands.

“Stay where you are I’m coming”

“Please don’t” the japanese girl mumbled again, “please, this will be the last time” she heard a deep sigh on the other side of the line (maybe was the wind, she wasn’t sure) “I need this”

She touched the red phone icon, vaguely remembering that she could stop hearing someone else’s voice if she clicked on it.

Dragging her feet on the hard street she threw her phone inside the pocket of her jeans and kept wandering until she stopped, for some reason, in front of a shop window and saw her own reflection. A japanese girl, not too tall and not too short that maybe was in her twenties looking like she had been through hell was looking back at her; her ponytail was a bit messy, leaving a few strands of hair out of it, the makeup was kind of messed up; her lipstick was smudged just a little bit and she had highlighter even on the tiny scar across her face. The look on her eyes reflected the inner fight drowning her, she was exhausted.

She snorted and turned around, facing the dark night again and following the directions her internal map was giving her to reach her destiny. She realized the rain had stopped a while ago when her senses came back for a bit; she perceived that her face wasn’t wet nor her clothes were being torn apart by the storm anymore. However, the streets were slippy and only realized this when she tripped and her head crashed against the sidewalk.

A small “Ah” escaped from her lips as she came to her senses again to feel a bit of pain, a small bruise was already forming on her cheekbone and her lips were bleeding a bit. Sana didn’t try to get up, with her head turned on the left she just stared at the dark. She recognized the store she was looking at, she used to buy her (ex) girlfriend breakfast from there every single day she picked her up. Sana remembered the glassy donuts and the variations of coffees with ridiculous names she used to try with her.

She got up after what it felt like hours, wiping the blood on her lips with her jacket’s sleeve and massaging her cheekbones, she got back to her path, this time, she walked faster ignoring the pain from her skinned knees under her jeans.

“The things I do for love” she mumbled to herself when she stood up in front of the familiar door. The sound of the wood colliding with her knuckles resounded throughout the freezing air of the night.

Sana felt dizzy immediately, the alcohol drowning her senses again; she heard the muffled sound of slippers coming closer and closer. When the door opened the air escaped from her lungs as if she had been punched in the guts.

“You can’t keep doing this” Her voice sounded tired, she was wearing Sana’s oversized sweater and if it hadn’t been for the alcohol making everything bearable, she would’ve cried on the spot.

The japanese girl looked down, waiting for the typical phrase that would follow the reproach.

“Close the door when you enter, it’s freezing” She said as she turned around and headed to the kitchen.

Sana promised to herself silently that this would really be the last time she showed up like that at her ex’s house. She took her shoes off and placed them next to the door, the warm surrounding embraced her body as she was taking off her coat and hanging it on the jacket holder.

When she sat down on the sofá she saw Nayeon coming from the kitchen with two cups of what she thought was hot chocolate and an aid kit under her arm. She sat next to Sana, placing the cups on the small coffee table that was in front of the sofá. 

“Did you fight with someone?” Nayeon whispered, touching Sana’s cheekbones and stopping when she was about to touch her lips.

“Not since... you know” Sana said following Nayeon’s movements, watching her taking the medical supplies out of the kit and preparing the disinfectant.

“That’s good, I’m proud of you” She said disinfecting Sana’s lips slowly to not cause her too much pain.

Sana smelled alcohol coming from Nayeon’s mouth. She didn’t like it. Not because she thought she was the only one allowed to cope in that way but because having them both in a room in that state had gone wrong a lot of times. 

“How much did you drink?”

“Enough to let you in... As always” Nayeon sighed and felt a pang of guilt on her chest, then she added “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for”

Sana looked down until the older girl finished treating her injuries. When Nayeon got up to put the aid kit back in it’s place she grabbed the cup of hot chocolate and looked at it, she knew she couldn’t sober up instantly if she drank it but still, that voice on the back of her mind afraid of being sober and having to face Nayeon was haunting her.

“It’s okay, It’s just normal hot chocolate, no poison or anything, only chocolate and milk” Nayeon paused “I still love you too much to do that”

Sana gulped and grabbed the cup with a lump on her throat, she tried to not to reply to that, she knew both of them weren’t in a good state to have The Talk. She found Nayeon’s tone bitter and to be honest Sana didn’t want to start a discussion, she was too tired for that. Both of them were.

A few minutes passed until a voice cut the silence, “I don’t know how to fix this”

“It was never your burden to carry” Nayeon said with her eyes closed, enjoying the hot chocolate, “We’re both responsible.”

That was the end of the conversation, at least for now, they stared at the chimney even after they both had finished their drinks. They knew what was coming next.

“Let’s go, it’s late and freezing, we are gonna catch a cold if we stay here” Nayeon got up and headed to a maybe too familiar place to Sana: her bedroom.

It took a few minutes to the japanese girl to follow her ex girlfriend, the insecurity was taking over, meaning that she was sobering up. When Sana followed her footsteps, the older girl was waiting for her with a hair dryer on her hand. Sana sat silently on the bed and felt Nayeon crawling on the bed and sitting behind her, her body hugging the younger girl’s back and legs. 

Nayeon turned on the hair dryer and untied Sana’s ponytail, her locks caressing her hands. She slowly dried Sana’s hair, the latter found the hot air coming from the object surprisingly nice. Nayeon’s hands ran freely through her ex’s hair, she always thought it was beautiful, even all wet and disheveled she found it charming.

Nayeon turned the hair dryer off and left it somewhere on the bed, “Don’t fall asleep on me, you still have to change your clothes...” she said when Sana’s body leaned on the korean girl’s front and her head fell on her shoulder. She looked strangely at the jeans the younger girl was wearing “...that aren’t yours from what I’m seeing”

“It’s one of the few things you left in my apartment” Sana’s sleepy voice echoed in the room and she rubbed her eyes “That?” she pointed at the pile of clothes.

Nayeon nodded and removed herself from the bed, “I’ll be outside to give you uh... privacy”. She closed the door trying to act as natural as possible and leaned on it trying to breathe.

 

Inhale.

 

Exhale.

 

Inhale.

 

_ Nayeon could feel her ears ringing due the loud sound coming from the club, she doesn’t know if she was so sensitive due being so intoxicated or because she had had a gut feeling about that night. She had seen her ex girlfriend briefly and instead of following her, she escaped from the mass of people as fast as she could. Pushing everyone to the side and muttering apologies she made her way to the back of the club.  _

_ She leaned on the wall for a moment and closed her eyes, she didn’t even know what was going on, she only knew that something was wrong, really wrong about that night. She took a cigarette out of her pocket, the last one she guessed, stress had been taking her body the past time and there was only one way to relieve it that didn’t imply crying nor breaking things.  _

_ Her moment of contemplation was interrupted by the sound of something or rather, someone hitting the wall next to the one she was leaning on, Nayeon thought someone’s spine had broken by the loud sound. She looked at it’s direction only to find her recent ex, getting beaten up. A fist crashing against Sana’s jaw and breaking the air with a loud crack made her jump on the spot. Nayeon wasn’t sure if her ex girlfriend was conscious or not. She was paralyzed. _

_ Sana was conscious, the smirk on her face refused to be erased even when one of the guys kicked her ribs. It was terrifying seeing it from afar, the japanese girl’s coping mechanism had gotten worse over the years until reaching the final state: looking for fights and constantly being on the verge of losing her ribs. _

_ “Hey, you two! Leave her alone” Nayeon’s voice ruined the rhythm between Sana’s deep breath and the sound of fists burying on her body. _

_ “Nayeon get the fuck out of here” Sana fell against the wall, using it as a support for her body when she stopped taking blows, “This-” She inhaled deeply “-isn’t your business” _

_ “We are done here, Minatozaki” The tallest guy’s fist went straight to the lower part of her jaw, the blow was so strong that it turned her head to her left side and made her hit the wall with a sore sound. His (what Nayeon supposed was) friend looked at her with disdain staining his eyes. _

_ Nayeon collected herself as much as she could and quickly approached to Sana who shook her head and spat a good amount of blood on the floor. She put one arm behind her armpit and with the other one she grabbed her waist.  _

_ “Don’t-” she let out a loud cough “-drag me to the hospital” _

_ “The first thing I heard when they threw you in here was your spine cracking against the wall, you don’t have a say in this”  _

_ “You’re wasted as hell, I doubt you can carry me there and this shithole is full of people who wants to beat the living fuck out of me, it’s your choice”  _

_ Nayeon resisted the urge of throwing Sana and just closed her eyes and cursed internally “I’ll never understand how can you make so many people angry” _

_ “I have my charms” She smiled showing her teeth completely stained with blood. _

_ “You do”  _

_ Nayeon straightened their posture and shook her head in another attempt of sobering up to not hurt Sana more than she already was and headed to her home. _

 

A soft knock on the door made Nayeon get out of her trance.

“Are you alright?” she heard from the other side of the door.

She opened the door only to find Sana wearing her black sweater, it was a bit frayed and had the number 32 on the left side, close to her heart, it had once belonged to Sana’s dad when he was a racing driver and she used to call it her  lucky charm,  Nayeon had taken care of that piece of cloth with her life. She also found adorable that the joggings she was using were so big that she was dragging them whenever she walked.

“Thanks for keeping it and fixing it” She sniffed the sweater “It still smells like him”. Nayeon wasn’t gonna tell her that she had bought Sana’s dad perfume (which she had mentioned a long time ago) to give it to her one day.

“It’s nothing really, it’s your lucky charm after all”

“I mean it Nayeon, thank you”

The older girl hid the blush while she was on her short way to her bed, Sana following her steps. Nayeon laid down and the japanese girl rested her head comfortably on her chest. The endless routine lingered on the room.

Just when she was about to fall asleep after caressing Sana’s hair softly a voice cut the silence, “When did we become this?”

“I don’t know what we’ve become” She paused “We’re both trying to be better, that’s the only thing I can assure you”

“I’ve been going to therapy every single day”

“Me too”

“Then why are we like this now?”

“You tell me, you showed up at my doorstep at 4 am all wet and injured”

“I think I needed a reason to keep going you know? It’s not like you’re a prize or something, I truly think I can enjoy things again and you’re the only person in this world I would like to enjoy them with” Sana frowned “That’s what I told to myself at least”

“I get it. I think our only mistake was thinking we could ignore how broken we were and when we didn’t ignore it we tried to fix each other” Nayeon reflexed “We’re doing progress, see? We’re sober and we’re being civilized with each other”

“Are we gonna be okay?”

“We will”

Sana looked at her dubiously. There it was, the fear, the insecurity and those demons that were threatening to split her in two again.

“You know why?”

“Enlighten me”

“Because we are meant to be”

“Just like that? Not in like star-crossed lovers way?”

“Nope, we are meant to be, as simple as it sounds”

Sana snuggled closer to Nayeon, listening directly her heartbeats, taking them as a silent promise.

The routine had changed for some reason today, no yelling, no crying, no ending the day feeling insanely guilty and anxious, even Nayeon’s words had changed, she used to tell her that she didn’t know if they could ever work as a couple again, but today, today had been different.

Today they were meant to be.


End file.
